Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Transparency




Crystal springs, clear-glass gold, limpid blues and greens housing gorgeous corals – all speak of the poetic beauty of transparency. A heart whose windows are ever-polished and thrown open to God is a heart that will see God as He truly is, that will bask in the sun-beam perfection of God’s goodness and that invites God into every nook and cranny of a life that is open, honest, trusting and trustworthy. This is a simple truth which can create dramatic life outcomes.

Transparency is the key which gives us entrance into God’s pristine truth. It is the windshield wiper of honesty, openness and sincerity before God which gives us clear sight into the things of God – the counsel of the Word and the profundity of His Truth. God’s Word is like a transparent mirror. As we gaze into it, we discover who we truly are as we find ourselves in the patterns of God’s nature. The more we walk in God’s truth, the more it polishes up our heart, which then colours the quality of our actions, which in turn attracts God’s favourable attention.

David, for example, was described as a man after God’s own heart who loved God with all his heart and strength. For most of his very colourful life, he lived in trusting dependence on and absolute honesty and openness before God. The quality of this man’s heart moved God to watch out for David in every possible way. Whether life is up or down, having a blank cheque from God which guarantees his beneficial outworking in any and every situation is a safety net which cannot be bested.

As we look into God’s Word, it is the see-through clarity of our heart – the spectacles of our thoughts – which determines the extent to which we can see, understand, apply, and find our way around God’s way of thinking. It is knowing God (which is different from knowing about God), having insight into His Word and understanding His very nature, which are the road-best-taken maps and highest survival guides for life.

Walking with God means being aware that His clear gaze is ever upon us; very much like the marble gaze of an Alaskan husky – piercing, penetrating, probing, perceptive, pondering, protective and princely. Psalm 139 says that God knows when we sit, when we stand and everything that pertains to us. In fact, on the ‘other’ side of life, transparency is such a powerful magnifying glass that God knows our thoughts long before they arrive upon the horizon of our thinking. He even knew us when we were knit in our mother’s womb, and ancient ages before this world came to be.

Life in the natural realm offers places to hide - cubby-holes of anonymity and convenient masks where we can just steal away when we don’t want to be seen or found. In the spirit realm, though, we are in a virtual fish-bowl. Not only is our life as visible as aquatic creatures in an aquarium, but our inner motives, secret thoughts, private ponderings and deepest desires can be X-rayed with absolute precision and placed on open exhibition before every being which exists in that invisible yet very real dimension of life.

This is why when David sinned with Bathsheba, and seemed quite satisfied that he had fully covered his tracks, it was actually the ‘talk of the town’ in the spirit realm. The forces of light and darkness were all well aware of what had taken place. In fact, God indicated that it gave God’s enemies opportunity to mock Him. The consequences for David, his family and his kingdom were tragic. For as long as we deliberately step out of bounds, God’s favour will not condone.

God’s response was to expose David, and in fact, coming out of that very dark moment in his life, David was able to say in a spirit of repentance, “God desires truth in the inward parts.” Truth could speak of bleach-white purity but also of crystal transparency. When David’s heart became clouded with motives which did not please God, he no longer saw his way clearly, began to drift and wandered into dimensions of his humanity which he probably had never thought himself capable of entering.

Daniel, on the other hand, never drifted. He lived an impeccable life. The Bible says that he threw his windows open towards Jerusalem three times a day and prayed. In other words, there was a consistent stream of communication flowing from Daniel towards God. Daniel threw his life open to God, knowing that God, who is a God of truth, can always be trusted. It gave God room to counsel, adjust, encourage and teach Daniel. It allowed God to polish the panes of Daniel’s heart, and moved God to watch out for Daniel in every way.

This really speaks of the power of the heart to shape a person and their destiny. Out of the heart come the issues of life. The heart is a window which lets God in. It is the peep-hole into a man’s very nature. The heart fountains with our thoughts, musings, motives, dreams, thinking, personal philosophies, and deep-seated desires. I like to think of the heart as luminous crystal gold or as a beautiful glass ornament etched with a floral design. When God gazes into my heart, He should see clear designs – unique patterns of me in springtime colour imprinted within a glassy three-dimensional canvas of pure Truth. He should see therein mirrored what is lovely, true, virtuous – a lucent reflection of His goodness.

The Heart




The heart is the vessel of our thoughts –
it mirrors who we are


Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life
Proverbs 4:23

My son, keep my words,
And treasure my commands within you.
Keep my commands and live,
And my law as the apple of your eye.
Bind them on your fingers;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
Proverbs 7:3

The refining pot is for silver
And the furnace for gold,
But the Lord tests the hearts.
Proverbs 17:3

Every way of a man
Is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.
Proverbs 21:2

He who loves purity of heart
And has grace on his lips,
The king will be his friend
Proverbs 22:11

As in water face reflects face,
So a man’s heart reveals the man.
Proverbs 27:19

The Word on the Word




Every word of God is pure
Proverbs 30:5

The law of the Lord is perfect,
Converting the soul …
More to be desired [is it] than gold,
Yea, than much fine gold;
Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb …
In keeping [it] there is great reward.
Proverbs 19:7-11

Heart Treasure


Heart Treasure

A window flung open to God
Clear panes that invite friendship
Sunbeams sparkling my soul with warmth
Clear shafts that gold-glitter my being

Flowers in crystal singing for joy
Clear glass jewelling Spring
Pretty, lucent gardens perfumed with hope
See-through beauty full of flower-press tales

The honeycomb gold of His Word
The limpid beauty of pure sweetness
Sugar crystals in rainbow colours
Sweetening your dreams with His Promises

Lovely aqua seas rippling to the shore
Housing diversity in a watery treasure chest
Deep blues, great whales, limpid greens, sea stars
Crystals of salt season life

The clear gaze of an Alaskan prince
Marble sight that sees through all
Perception as sharp as an icicle
Truth as beautiful as snow-flake designs

Clear is open
Clear is joy
Clear is truth
Clear is deep
Clear is safe

Clear is simply a diamond-divine gem

©NnekaEdwards2009

Pour Me a Mug!






Pour Me a Mug!

Pour me a mug of clear gold,
With foamy froth to quench my soul.
Yes, pump me a beer from a bottomless keg.
It’s oooooh so good, but no need to beg,
To have a friendly glass of good, old hops,
Far more ancient than a Bacchus romp.

Pour me a mug of liquid gold -
That perfect brew of God’s clear Word.
Yes, pump me a beer from that bottomless well.
My taste buds tingle for that refreshing blend,
That smacking taste of profound Truth
For a sober drunk to chase his blues.

Pour me a mug of crystal ore.
No other ales need I explore.
Yes, pump me a beer from His bottomless heart,
Where friendship with God is the best part
Of a round of drinks in a lively pub,
Where brothers down contented mugs.

Pour me a mug of that river of life.
I’ll drink deeply from His streaming delights.
The sweet foamy Spirit spilling light
Is the wizened counsel of a Saintly Sprite.
So here’s to a cask of wisdom old
And the joy of ever tippling gold!


©NnekaEdwards2006

Flowery Dreams



Flowery Dreams

A flower sails
On watery streams
Of a clear soul
With floral dreams

~ * ~

A clear glass bowl
With a watery soul;
Serene crystal mirror;
A lotus unfolds.

Round creamy stones
Line the glassy-bed soul;
A carpet of pearl-coins
In a glass-pond bowl;

Dawn flushes gold
O’er the pebbly stones.
She sings through this diamond
And makes my heart glow.

And so … I hope


©NnekaEdwards2007

Walking by the Stream





Walking by the Stream

Walking by the stream
Me and wistful reveries
The waters sing a streaming tale
Bitter-sweet, thru hanging vales

I look into her honest face
And there I see a tearful trace
Of muddied dreams and hopes denied
of a lonely hush and songs untied

The birds sing sweet
The wind hums low
The tale of this soul
Echoes

Walking by the stream
Teardrop petals float along
They cry and weep and sadly pour
Out tales of love lost long before

Wistfully I trail their path
A pretty, pathos, fragile mass
Of hopes denied and fragment dreams
Of monster tales and creatures mean

The birds sing sweet
The wind hums low
The tale of this soul
Echoes

Walking by the stream
Paper boats tossed serene
Drift slow, light and listless by
Meandering with their wispy sighs

I catch one as it passes me
Unfold its writing gingerly
Dreams long written e’er it sailed
Were hoping still through the breezy vale

The birds sing sweet
The wind hums low
The tale of this soul
Echoes

By the stream crafting hold
Paper boats of singing folds
Bottled in glass vessels clear
They sail and sing of new-bloom tears

Lined with dreams in lyric style
The floating scroll swims in my eyes
Moving to some orchard grove
A place to shelter dreams of gold

The birds sing sweet
The winds hum low
The tale of this soul
Echoes

Echoes
In the singing rain
Echoes
In the brilliant night
Echoes
In new hoping dreams
In what is always true and right

The birds sing sweet
The winds hum low
The song of the stream
Echoes …
Echoes …
Echoes …

©NnekaEdwards2006

The Clear Face of the River


The Clear Face of the River

I found myself in the rivers
In the streams that run below
Down in the dark, green valleys
Where I was walking slow

I found myself in the rivers
Where I saw my image clear
In the calm of rippling crystals
As stainless as my tears

I found myself in the rivers
They mirrored clear my soul
Their floral currents echoed hope
As sunbeams flecked them gold

I found myself in the rivers
That stream to one great place
I saw my beauty spring and flow
Through the kindness of His grace

I peered and saw His face
And fountained into praise
For I found myself in the River

©NnekaEdwards2007

Kabuki Chronicle: Dimensions of God in Glass


A righteous remnant jump into the next dimension of life and begin a Joyous March into the Interior. With much laughter and great excitement they hasten to keep step with the gorgeous golden beast, Aslan – Lion among lions - son of the Emperor Beyond the Sea. The glorious creature is now bounding across Spring-time hills, while at the same time diving into deeper dimensions of eternal perfection. They all skip and leap ever upwards, quickly ascending mountainous heights, making concentrically sweeter headway. All the while he spurs on those who chase with beckoning delight - Higher up! …Farther in! … Higher up! … Farther in!

This is the final scene of The Chronicles of Narnia – an allegorical fantasy series. The climax of the final book, The Last Battle, marks the conclusion of Time and the opening up of a glorious chapter in human history – a new tale where God and man walk in perfect friendship throughout forever. This is what God is saying to us, His people, in this very climactic stage of human history – Higher up! … Farther in!

I am often inspired by the images and principles from the Narnia series. Just before leaving Trinidad to come to Japan, the words “higher up, farther in” came back to me. They are still echoing in my heart today. As I move into deeper dimensions of who God is, I walk under the tutelage of God-inspired experiences of a varied sort. Through the windows of my heart, I look out and see walls of clear glass. These crystal-clear sheets seem to intersect in an arbitrary pattern, creating a beautiful, transparent maze of translucent gold. The warm, shimmering dazzle of sunny glory beams through this lucent beauty. You can see right through into far off and forever.

In this season, as I step into new dimensions of who God is, I am learning:
That God is kind and rich in mercy
That God is gentle and tender-hearted
That God is slow to anger
That patience proves all things
That a man’s wisdom gives him patience
That God blesses both the righteous and the wicked
That, yes, even the wicked can be shown mercy
That praise and thankfulness usher us into His courts
That thankfulness must fill my heart and fountain forth
That I must become perfectly patterned after God

These days, in my mind, I see a home of glassy charm. The furnishings are crystal clear with tasteful trimmings of silver. I see a floral bouquet of rosy pinks, sunny yellows, and tangerine hues set on a low glass table. It is the only thing of colour … yet I know there is colour all around. Crystal clarity is the treasure of my heart, touched with the fragrance of joy and sunbeams of grace.

I recently saw a beautiful Alaskan Husky – a creature of grim, wolvish beauty. Its silvery sheen was pure splendour, but most stunning was its piercing gaze. Its eyes were as clear as marbles, and as beautiful as they were penetrative; mesmeric - a transparent gaze of startling stillness and intensity. It was a gorgeous creature of solemn stateliness; perfectly poised; breathtaking. It has made me think of God. He is both watching us and watching over us. He is our Faithful Guardian and He is also the Awesome One – beautiful and kind as He is also wondrously terrible.

Higher up … farther in …there are deeper dimensions yet; as we walk through the endless maze of who He is, we become blissfully lost in the wonder of His world; and along the way, as we peer into the golden-glass walls around us, we see who we are, and find there is still more breathtaking landscape beyond. In Him we live and move and have our being …Higher up! Farther in!

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Friendship


Friendship

Friendship is like rainbow sprinkles brightening a sweet-life Sundae. Friends care and share; share kindness, laughter, tears, special moments, and warm advice as they walk with us through the changing seasons of life.

Friendship means opening up; opening up the windows of our heart to let sunbeams warm our soul. It means trusting someone to treat us kindly. It means throwing open the doors of our life to joyful discoveries, to learning, growing, and becoming a new me … and doing the same for someone else.

Friendship has been with man since the beginning. Adam spent many rich moments in the Garden of Eden, enjoying God’s wonderful companionship as they chatted about all kinds of interesting and engaging things. Then God brought him a new friend in the form of Eve. So there was man-with-God friendship and human-with-human friendship, for God has designed us to connect on both vertical and horizontal planes of reality.

I did not always have many friends, but I made God my very best one, trusting Him to add others to my life in the beauty of time; and He has certainly done that. Indeed, God gave me a very special pal even before I came to really know Him, and she was the one who showed me that walking with God was always meant to be as natural as breathing.

I remember my best high school friend and I having many rich conversations as we strolled around our school grounds on afternoons after class was out. We seemed to never run out of things to talk about. She knew God very well, and one day as we sat under the trees at school she asked me, “Would you like to know God as a friend?” I thought it sounded very inviting … and that’s where my journey of friendship with God began.

Though we were only teenagers at the time, I could not have asked for a more loyal friend. Wendy-Kaye (that was her name) always encouraged me in my walk with God, always prayed for me, always had a sparkle in her eyes and a chuckle on her lips, and always shared well-seasoned advice, interesting life stories and lots of silly jokes. Spiritually speaking, she was ahead of our time and mature beyond her years.

In the Proverbs 27:9 it says: Ointment and perfume delight the heart / And the sweetness of a man’s friend / gives delight by hearty counsel. My high school friendship was a doorway into friendship with God. When I opened my window to God, I saw sunshine, and I saw rainbows; and when there was drizzle or rain, He was always faithful to pour sunbeam encouragement into my heart, either through the immediate grace of His direct speaking, or through the divinely-inspired input of other people.

Over the years, God has added many friends to my life. Some of them know God personally and some of them do not. Some of us are always perfect chums and for others, we may sometimes have our moments. Still, no matter the ins-and-outs of how we relate, I value my friendships highly and especially treasure life-long ones.

Each of my pals is a bright sprinkle of colour on my sweet-life Sundae. They give me joy, they lend me strength, they put a dance in my steps, a smile on my lips, and fill my memory-lane strolls with heart-warming reminiscing. Each is a lovely ribbon of colour in God’s rainbow-Promise to do me only good all the days of my life. Friendship is a gift from God.

Knowing God is a Gift


Being friends with God is both sweet simplicity and grand complexity. Simply put, it means spending time with Him, and walking with Him throughout life and into eternity. On a more complex level, it means diving into the vast diversity of who He is, and allowing Him to pattern us with the patterns of His heart. Friendship with our Creator is what we were designed for. Many find this an unusual concept, yet in God’s mind, it is quite odd and alien when it’s the other way around.

Being friends with God means taking the time and care to really get to know Him; know Him beyond the superficial knowledge created by pre-conceptions, which are often misconceptions. It means spending time digging into His Word for nuggets of His personality and life philosophies. It means talking to Him and allowing Him access to every nook and cranny of our heart – our thoughts, motives, dreams, fears, concerns, desires, questions. It means starting to think like God Himself. After all, friends rub off on each other, and there’s nothing sweeter than His divine glow sparkling our very being.

Friendship with God means reflexively talking to God often; out loud or in our heads, lying in bed or while at work, working out in the gym or while looking at TV, in the midst of sorrow and in joyful celebrations. God always has His doors thrown wide open to us, waiting for us to just ‘make His day,’ and there’s nothing that quite does that like us sharing our lives with Him – everything from the fine details to the big issues of earthly existence.

When I talk to God, I keep things simple. I don’t talk in a ‘holy’ tone of voice or set out to pray long, ‘impressive’ prayers. I simply let the transparency of my thoughts and the sincerity of my heart be the highest eloquence I can offer Him. For God reads the language of our heart before He reads the language of our lips. God values innocence and honesty. He values our trust in Him. These are things which He will never violate or disappoint. Indeed He carries us like a shepherd carries His lambs – kindly, gently and faithfully. Even when life gets tough, we can rest in the fact that everything which God allows in our lives is motivated by his perfect wisdom and loving-kindness.

Friendship with God means hearing His voice and responding to His speaking. He breathes His counsel, encouragement, direction and adjustments in so many different ways. The more time one spends with Him, the more one gets to know His voice. It is like a leaf floating unto a pond, creating rings of ripples, yet knowing exactly what those ripples are saying. It’s like hearing wind chimes making music inspired by the thoughts of God, and instantly capturing in the nuances of every note, every subtle divine meaning.

God speaks in ways which cannot be numbered – through images lightly imprinted on the heart, through other people (even if they may not realize it), through music, through divinely-inspired insight into His Word, through audible communication, through the very design of Nature, through an endless assortment of interactions. God is always speaking, but the best way to capture His voice is by keeping our hearts pure, because the slightest neglect of our personal purity can muffle His voice. We can always determine if it is God or not by using what is written in the Word as a fool-proof litmus guide.

Friendship with God is special. God is a gift to be unwrapped, with every layer of discovery opening up whole new dimensions of his endless goodness. As we remove each new sheet of beautifully-patterned tissue, He begins to gift-wrap us in all the diverse beauty of His character. He makes of us a gift which can bless and enrich the lives of others, wooing them to the Lord Himself.

Bridge Poem


Bridge Poem

Why be afraid of
what I do not know?
I want to know
why the wind blows;
And where it flies,
I want to go.
Why be afraid
of what I do not know?
I want to sail,
I want to grow;
I want to touch
another soul.

©NnekaEdwards2006

Cocoa and Pie


Cocoa and Pie

Colonial criss-cross woodwork
Painted rose-white
Wood panels with bright coats
sunshine yellow, happy mauve, lime green

A good friend of mine
Comes knocking every day
Come rain or shine
If the pie’s divine
Or if the crust is fine
He’ll be here

If the cocoa spills
If sweet is nil
In a flood of bills
He’ll be here

He’ll sit and chat with me
Come to see
If I need cheering
Caring, friendly steering
Or firm advice

His company
Makes my Home
Warm and bright

©NnekaEdwards2006

The Friend


The Friend

Like an old, favourite coat
So warm and familiar
A true friendship
To last a lifetime

©NnekaEdwards2002
Photo of Hisako - my Japanese chum

Friend


Friend

by zhōu huá jiàn
(a beautiful Chinese pop song)

These few years, one man here
Wind blew strong, rain passed by
I cried tears, there were wrongs
Still I remember what goes on

You will know if you’ve loved
All alone, you’ll look back
In the end there’ll be dreams
And you’ll flow in my heart streams

Friends walk together throughout life
Those days will not come another time
Just one word; a generation
Love through life; a glass of wine

Friends have never felt alone
Just say “friend” and you’ll follow
There’re still hurts, there’s still sorrow
We still must walk, there’s still me tomorrow


(translated by yours truly)

The Bridge


The Bridge

There is a bridge called Friendship -
A walkway o’er a stream.
It is beautiful and knowing -
A place for joy to meet.
Yea, there is a bridge called Friendship
Which strings my heart to yours;
Oft threaded with kind lilies
Lining its lovely frame;
Yet it still can be tossed and broken,
Shattered by our cares.
If this path is wrecked by heartache
Or by some bitter memory,
Arise and hasten hither;
Hasten your steps to me.
The stream below is empty
Unless we build this bridge again,
And meet along her pathway
And over the waters peer;
And see therein reflected
Forgiveness and her End,
And the beauty of a friend.

©NnekaEdwards2007


Be gentle and ready to forgive;
never hold grudges.
Remember, the Lord forgave you,
so you must forgive others
Col 3:12-13 - TLB

Kabuki Chronicle: O Curry!









30 June 2007

Lovely cotton hangings with elephants embroidered in black, red, and brown. Simple cloth lanterns with tie-dyed patterns offering a soft glow; tables covered with beautiful Asian prints; an assortment of exotic decorations; a friendly clutter of Indian culture makes this beautiful restaurant very homey. Welcome to Sayapatri!

Sumptuous dining lines the menu. Dip your doughy garlic naan in a sweet-spicy prawn curry that is creamy as it is spicy; or try the red-curry mutton that just melts with each mouthful; the rich seasonings linger delectably and all you can do is kiss your fingertips with a flourish; this Indian shrine tucked away in a quaint side-street of Urawa is my culinary Mecca. I go on pilgrimage every week.

It is not just the fine dining which draws me again and again. There’s also the flat screen entertainment - music videos from India’s popular movies. The swirling saris and intricate choreography are absolutely captivating. Refreshing shades of rosy pink, tangerine orange, sunny yellow, and sky blue spin and move across the screen in classical elegance, as exotic rhythms fill every sense which may have missed the delightful invitations of the delectable dishes. When the music and dance carry you to India, the main course suddenly becomes a mere side savoury.

Last night, celebrating Chiara’s birthday was a great excuse to make that sacred trip once again. You might remember Chiara from the New Year’s journal about the three guests who spent the evening at my apartment. Well, we enjoyed many moments of mirth and humour as we took in the music videos. I also enjoyed chatting with the owner with whom I have fast become friends over the past year. Thanks to my Trini heritage, my Nepalese friend (whose husband is from India) and I have found that Indian culture has formed a bridge of friendship between us. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know her name, but I’m pleased to say that we share a very warm sense of friendship.

I had bought two slices of ‘birthday cake’ at a bakery before heading for Sayapatri. I invited my Nepalese friend to share in our dessert. She was quite taken by surprise but clearly very pleased. She suddenly disappeared into the kitchen and then, to our delight, suddenly re-emerged with Indian mango yogurt topped with mango sauce and peaches … on the house. The flavour was quite unusual since it was liberally flavoured with distinctly Indian spices, but we ate it all up. Chiara loved it; I will acquire the taste gradually.

Memorable moments …

While viewing a muscular Indian dancer energetically shifting his shoulders and doing some fancy footwork, Chiara was quick to exclaim, “Hammer time!”

I told my Nepalese friend that one day I would go to India. To Chiara’s amusement, she misunderstood, shocked that I would go to India for only one day.

Chiara was not too impressed that I offered to share her slice of birthday cake with my Nepalese friend – whose cake you talkin’ about? Yours, right? …’Cause it couldn’t be mine! It was pretty tickling.

Finally, my Nepalese friend introduced me to her baby son, Vijay – a real cutey-pie; all during the evening we chatted and laughed, and she pointed out different Indian stars to us, telling us who works with the mafia, and who was this and who was that.

It was a special evening in that dimly-lit restaurant. It was practically empty, us being the only customers, but it was filled with the warmth of hearty laughter, cultural curiosity, and genuine friendship – beautiful moments woven into a beautiful evening.

Friendship Means ...




Friendship Means …

Sweet Companionship
Stealing away from the staffroom and enjoying a cup of tea with my good Japanese friend, Yumi, in her little upstairs room.

Hospitality
My Canadian and Russian friends, Jeff and Julia, opening up their teeny apartment for a great Christmas slumber party (including a fun gift exchange)

Sharing Funny Moments (and Forgiving)
Odette, my South African friend, standing next to me and doing nothing but laughing when a Korean hat-seller just grabbed me and shook the living daylights out of me for no good reason. “You should have seen the look on your face!” she said unrepentingly.

Communicating
My Jamaican friend, Wendy-Kaye, and I, exchanging tons of letters after she moved back home with her family; correspondence filled with the stuff that true friendship is made of!

Bantering
Exchanging quips with my Canadian friend and buddy, Leigh, about every conceivable foolishness. We poked a lot of fun at each other, but had some good, meaningful conversation as well.

Disagreeing Sometimes
Not always agreeing with Nalini, my Indian friend, about God and religion, but finding a fast friend and a great and noble sparring partner.

A Great Package Deal
Finding friend, mother, sister and confidante in my Korean homestay ‘mom,’ Nora. We had a lot of great conversations!

Warmth
My homestay halmoni (“granny" in Korean) and her big, bright smile every time she saw me. She couldn’t speak English and I could barely say anything worth saying in Korean, but we understood each other perfectly!

Acceptance
Tall, German, blond-haired, grey-eyed Michael jumping up and down on his bed in joyous abandon to “The Congo Man” – a risqué calypso from Trinidad

Sharing
Yapping with my Chinese-Trini friend, Nicole, on the phone about this, that, and everything, and always trying to get her to come over to my home to read my poems!

Understanding
Hisako, my Japanese friend, being able to read so many of my thoughts with a kindness and courtesy that never made me feel like my privacy was being invaded

Caring and Kindness
My Chinese-Canadian friend, Shuky, bringing a tub of my favourite flavour of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream for me on my birthday during a grey season of life

Safety
Sitting right between my Japanese colleagues and friends, Hisako and Yamamura Sensei, in the staffroom and resting in the fact that they were always looking out for me in every way.

Sacrifice
Billy, my Chinese-Canadian friend, gladly picking me up at some ungodly hour of the morning to take me to the airport so I could catch a flight home to Trinidad

Giving
Nalini, my Indian friend, opening up her beautiful home to so many of her classmates and cooking up a fine curry feast for us with joyful energy

Selflessness
My Trini friends (too many to name) going all out to help me with a personal project that would have meant giving away their time in the midst of great busyness all in a spirit of cheerful voluntarism.

And the list could go on and on … sincerity, trusting, loyalty, reciprocating!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Life Worth Living


Life Worth Living

Hope promises that there will be a happy ending. God seems to like books … after all, He scripted the Bible. Once God’s Word is inscribed on our hearts, he inscribes our names in His Book of Life. I sometimes like to imagine that our lives fill veritable libraries in the unseen realm; that people who have already walked through life and look on from an unseen dimension, can thumb through our earthly existence, just like we might enjoy a gripping novel. There actually seems to be some indirect evidence for this in the Bible:

And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books … and anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire.
Rev 20:12 (NKJV)

and

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Psalm 139:15-17

When God has penned every detail of our life, then that makes for reading that just can’t be put down. Each chapter promises high adventure, noble quests, human heroism, conquering courage, victory over villainy, unexpected twists and turns, suspense-filled circumstances, divine drama, and pure perfection when the literary life-panorama is viewed from its unlikely beginnings to its exquisite end.

When I first asked God to be my Friend forever, I set out on a quest of bold experimentation. One day, as I had my elbows propped on my pillow, enjoying a few quiet moments with the Lord, I said, “Okay God, Hear what … I want to see something. If you could make such a masterful work of creating things out of nothing but your very breath, then I want to see what you will do with my life if I walk with you in faithfulness from one end of my life to the next. I want to see how my life is going to turn out. You are not short of genius or creativity, so if I give you perfect obedience in all things, where will life lead me? What beautiful tale will you make of my life?”

Now I have walked through a couple chapters of my tale and am stepping into the ones which lie ahead, and I can joyfully boast that there is no Story-Teller like my God! He has filled my journals with joy, he has given me a novel of nobility, He has walked me through travelogues of tears and triumph, and poured poetry into my days. I could not have asked for a fuller experience, and that is what the abundant life Jesus promised is really about – the bitter-sweet of life which complexifies who we are in Him, so that the maze of beauty which He is becomes deeply patterned within us.

The beautiful thing is that there is no “The End” in God. He writes on forever and ever. So the end of one chapter is the start of a more glorious one. God never returns to a former glory, and the wonderful comfort of it all is that no matter how the tale begins, God can weave it into something extraordinary. Jesus came as a helpless baby in a filthy manger but now sits triumphantly as the King of Kings. Joseph went from slavish poverty to a political prison to the highest position within Pharaoh’s palace. David went from being unceremoniously sidelined by his family to being ushered into Kingship and into the very genealogy of Christ; many tales; one Author; many lives; one Truth; many chapters; one perfect ending; many knees bent; one proclamation. God is the Alpha and the Omega - the Beginning and the End; and the One who knows the End from the Beginning. As long as God has written the tale, I can live within its pages. Life penned by God … is always worth living.
Photo: my Japanese friend, Hisako

My Treasure


My Treasure

Do not lay up for yourselves
treasure on earth,
where moth and rust destroy
and where thieves break in and steal;
but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where neither rust nor moth destroys
and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is,
There your heart will be also
.
Matthew 6:19-21

A few days before I left Japan, I met one of my best friends – Hisako San – for a simple, farewell dinner of scrumptious sandwiches at a popular restaurant. We chatted, laughed, reminisced and together looked forward to what lay ahead for both of us. Just before we got ready to leave, Hisako presented me with a gift and urged me to open it. I tore away the beautiful wrapping, and soon a tastefully-designed Japanese book lay in my hands. It was small and jacketed in cream, textured paper with a little dog gracing the cover. Over it was the book title in elegant Japanese script. Hisako explained that it was one of her favourite books and also quite popular in Japan. It’s called See You Anytime I Want. When she offered to translate it for me, I gave my assent, “Woof! Woof!” and we both had a good laugh. As she went through the book page by page, though, our playful teasing gradually turned to tearful smiles.

The book was about a little dog whose owner (a little girl) had passed away. As the little puppy comes to terms with the fact that he can’t play with her anymore, and that no matter how extensively he searches, he can’t find her, he slowly comes to realize that she is up among the stars, looking down on him and that one day they would be playmates again. Hisako found the most eloquent way to say, “Nneka, I’m going to miss you … but we’ll meet again.” It was so touching. It was only on completing the reading that she explained that the book is designed to help children come to terms with the loss of loved ones. The meaning in the context of my returning to Trinidad and our friendship, was artfully left unexplained … but our moist eyes and bitter-sweet smiles meant that the meaning was clear to each of us.

That special dinner is one that I will always treasure. It was a sweet celebration of friendship, and also a beautiful reminder of the sophisticated subtleties of Japanese culture which I grew to appreciate and admire. That little puppy could have pined his life away waiting for his little friend to return, but instead he found peace and contentment in the fact that she was in a better place – a safe place. In an abstract metaphorical sense, because his ‘treasure’ was in heaven, this knowledge gave him a warm sense of comfort and security.

Sometimes life comes along and takes things from us – friendships, loved ones, bank accounts, health, options, pride, … hope. Sometimes we may feel that life is simply not worth living. Job was one such individual, nose-diving from being the wealthiest man in Asia to the most pitiable character on the planet … until God restored what He allowed the enemy to take from him.

In his time of desperate suffering, Job had every reason and seemingly every justification to end it all. Yet, his personal philosophy pulled him back from the edge, as he gritted his teeth and determined to live on despite every provocation to the contrary. The only option he allowed himself was to keep trusting God, to see if he would not meet providence around the next unlikely corner.

The intensity of Job’s inner grappling was torturous. He said: … my soul chooses strangling and death rather than my body. I loathe my life (Job 7:15-16). The swirl of sorrow in the upper portion of his mind did not, however, erode his bedrock faith. When his wife prodded him to curse God and die, He said: Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity? He understood that God’s goodness could not be called into question, and that the complex God He served could not be boxed into simplistic human equations based on direct co-relations between good people and consistently-favourable circumstances.

Though Job had been one of the world’s wealthiest men, his truest treasures were not things of temporal worth. What he valued most highly was his integrity, which was ultimately defined by God’s opinion of His life choices. If we can take all the things we love and entrust them to God, we will find that we create an entirely different kind of trove – one created by ancient faith and priceless grace. For God takes our trust in Him and our consequent choices, and fills our heavenly treasure chest with good things that last forever – divine favour, golden-honey joy, liquid-gold grace.

When crisis comes along, we can dip into our heavenly cache and invest our spiritual resource in real-life issues to enjoy tangible benefits in the here-and-now. In our grief, God will pour in his balm, in our loss, God will pour in provision, in grey times, God will line the clouds with sunny encouragement. If everything is taken from us, we will know that we are rich in Christ and that God will create a way out emotionally, materially, circumstantially or any combination of the three.

For when we make God our treasure, we become His precious possession. When we come to be the apple of His eye, anything that touches us will make Him blink. He will respond and be there for us. His favour will keep us and make a way for us. This is what a wise lady said of David (described as a man after God's own heart) when he was running from king Saul: Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in His treasure pouch! But the lives of your enemies will disappear like stones shot from a sling! - 1 Sam 25:29

Though I don’t have much by human standards, God is my reward … and He’s with me all the time. I remember once being in my living room, throwing a pity-party for myself, wondering if I would always be living (okay … dangling) on the financial and professional edge. I sensed God ask me, “If all you had was me, wouldn’t that be enough?” And I immediately perked up and straightened myself out and said, “Of course, God! You are my reward! Once I have you, I don’t need anything else at all!”

I don’t have to search for my Best Friend everywhere and yet not find him, like that little puppy. My contentment comes from the fact that wherever I go He will be, and there I will find joyously-dazzling richness of boundless worth. God Himself is my highest treasure for his character is gemmed with kindness, and diamond-crusted with wisdom. His very nature out-sparkles the most brilliant stone. He is the best-kept secret; the Jewel that crowns all of creation; the one who designs Karat qualities into my very being; the Sweetest Glow of Perfect Glory on the inside of me.

Blooming Spring


Blooming Spring

Flowers bud midst the thorns
I thought hope had long gone
But look! Spring has come
Rest in the One
Who makes creation sing

©NnekaEdwards2006

Life is Fine


See "Life is Fine"
by Langston Hughes
(1902-1967)

Photo by Karina McKoy

Madam and the Wrong Visitor


See "Madam and the Wrong Visitor"
By Langston Hughes
(1902-1967)

A Better Way Out


25 April 2005

Dear students,

Thoughts on Today

I am sure that most of you would have already received the very sad and tragic news about our classmate, P.T.. He took his life today. I am sure that I speak for everyone when I say that we are all truly and deeply saddened by this loss. Class will not be the same without him.

Before I continue, let me just say that I have been informed by L.B. that counseling services will be provided on Wednesday afternoon. For those of you who feel that you would like to receive some form of professional support, please do make the time to speak with someone, whether at this appointed time or at another place and time of your choosing.

I am sorry that we will not really have another opportunity anytime soon to be together as a class, but I feel that there are some things that I would like to say, even if only via email.

Where does one begin?

I must say that when I received the news there was instinctive denial (no, that just can’t be true!), and then absolute shock. But now that a few hours have passed, and I have had some time to settle myself, and sit back and get some perspective on things, these are the thoughts that I would like to share …

First of all, as with the recent passing of my father, I accept that God knew this was going to happen even before it did. It took all of us by surprise, but not God. And by extension, God, who is merciful and just, knows that some good will come out of this. Strange as that may seem. That is just something that I accept by faith.

Secondly, it is so important that we keep close friendships (even if we have just one close friend or confidante). I have gained such comfort and wise counsel from several of my friends tonight. It really has allowed God to pour in his peace and comfort into my heart.

The animal kingdom really helps illustrate why it is so important to not become isolated and cut off from (friendly) company. The first animals that predatory beasts bring onto their radar are those who are straggling or those who are too weak to keep up with the rest of the pack. That is why it is important that the ‘weak’ get themselves to the center of the pack, and why the ‘strong’ also need to keep an eye out for their weaker comrades. For there really is strength in numbers.

Having a trustworthy friend, and being willing to make others privy to the deep issues of our heart (even if it seems embarrassing) can literally make the difference between life and death.

The thing is, when P.T. is no longer here, it does not mean that he has ceased to exist. It just means that he exists in a different place. When we die, we don’t suddenly become formless and lifeless. We do not return to nothingness. Human beings are eternal creatures, made in the image of our Creator who is also eternal. Death does not mean an end to our existence.

The stark reality is that after we die and enter eternity, we either end up in the embrace of God or in the burning, blazing coals of Hell (wherever that might be). What decides where we end up is whether we choose God’s ways or not. Although Hell is a reality, it is not necessarily designed to scare us into a relationship with God, though that is what happens to some people sometimes.

God Himself is the greatest advertisement for a life that is designed according to and motivated by His principles. For God is wise, humble, just, merciful, strong, gentle, severe, light hearted and much, much more. Just imagine the person whose company you love most and then multiply that by infinity. That’s God.

All that to say, there are many lessons to be learnt from what happened today. If all we do is wring our hands and beat our chests and then go back to normal living, we will have learnt little. Perhaps we will each gain different insights, but what I have seen is that:

- We need friends to form strong walls of protection about us
- The strongest wall is friendship with God
- We need to ensure that we do not isolate ourselves
- Isolation makes us easy prey for forces of suicidal darkness
- We need to be compassionate towards the 'weak'
- We need to appreciate our value in God's eyes

There is no sense in condemning ourselves for things we have no control over. P.T. made his choice, and having interacted with him, I do believe that God did provide a way out for him. It is sad that he either did not see it or perhaps did not accept it, but as sad as that is, none of us can reverse what happened.

God is a God of Hope.

Hope = confidence in a good outcome despite current circumstances

I can say much more, but I will end off here. Praying that we all learn from this tragedy, and gain the type of wisdom that will cause us to build or deepen our foundations in Christ.

With sincere wishes,

Ai Laoshi

Teacher Edwards

Korean Chronicle: Taking Stock


Taking Stock

27 August 2002 will make it exactly one year that I have been in Korea. So it seems like a significant time to look back and take stock. It is really quite awe-inspiring, mind-boggling, sobering and re-assuring when one can look back and see how clearly and strategically God was setting things in place without one even realizing.

When I look back over the past 12 months, what really stands out for me is how very involved in my life God is and has been. Bette Midler had a hit song many years ago – “From a Distance” where God seemed like a distant observer of human life. But when God talks about having His eyes on people in the Bible, it is clear that He is very eager to be mixed into our lives like yeast in dough – inextricably kneaded into the core of our existence.

I do not often mention God in the journals that I have been pumping out, but really He is very much at the forefront of my mind when I write about my experiences here. There is absolutely no way that I could have engineered all of this. The most creative meanderings of my mind would have never painted such an incredible experience for myself. I now understand what God means when He promises to do exceedingly above anything we could have ever dreamed or imagined.

The seeds for my adventures in Korea began many moons ago in my final semester at McGill in the earlier part of 1996. I did a course on Korean history which stirred my interest in the so-called “Hermit Nation.” Then during my 10-month stay in Taiwan I met a few Koreans, and became good friends with one. And I will never forget sitting in the huge public library in Taipei reading a Time (or was it Newsweek?) report on the famine in North Korea. Well that just wrenched my heart (probably plenty propaganda was in there, but still …). So as way back as five to six years ago, Korea was on my mind.

I knew that I wanted to continue studying, that I wanted to study in Asia and that I would need a scholarship to fund my way through. Wouldn’t you know it, my Canadian cousin (Myles) started dating a Canadian-Korean (Jenny) and in 2000 (if I remember correctly), they flew to Trinidad and Tobago for a visit. I happened to mention to Jenny that I was interested in Korea and that I would have loved to learn Korean and maybe study out this way. She promised to make enquiries with her contacts at the Korean Embassy when she flew home.

True to her word, she got back to me shortly thereafter with news of a scholarship offered by the Korean government. I called the Embassy myself and spoke with a very kind gentleman, Consul Kim. I couldn’t make it in time for the deadline for August 2000, but I was encouraged to apply again the following year. 2001 came, I got my application going, and had incredible support from Consul Kim, who remembered me from the year before. It’s not a scholarship that many Canadians seem to know about, and in fact I was told that I was the only one who applied in 2001.

The application process was a rather complicated one and there were hiccups along the way which threatened to abort the whole process. But after a while it became very clear that Korea was indeed on God’s agenda for me, and that God wanted me to trust Him and pray the whole thing through no matter how discouraging the natural circumstances seemed.

There were many encouraging factors, but one of the biggest was the people from Korea (some of whom I had never met before , but who Jenny put me on to) who were incredibly kind to me. From January to July, I went up, down, and all around trying to make things happen. But indeed it was God working behind the scenes who got the wheels oiled and worked things out in my favour. At the very last hour, I received news that I had been granted the scholarship. What elation!

But once the joy of knowing I had received the scholarship mellowed a bit, I had to start thinking of more nitty gritty issues – namely money. The scholarship does not cover accommodation and I was just barely able to scrape together enough for lodgings during my first semester. I decided that I would look for a job or extra funding when I arrived in Korea.
I was very optimistic. But lo and behold when I got here all plans for finding a job and extra funding fell through. But from the way things had been going, I realized that everything boiled down to whether I trusted God or not; and I did trust Him. Near the end of my first semester I discovered the home-stay option and the whole issue with accommodation worked itself out very nicely. I had had no clue about this alternative, but this is clearly God’s safety net for me.

For those of you who have been following my chronicles from the very start, I would like to hope that you see as clearly as I do the confidence and focus and fore-thought with which God has been making everything fall into place here. It really really blows my mind as I look back – the fun, the friendships, the provision, the opportunities to use already-existant skills and to acquire new ones. I had absolutely no clue that all of this was going to happen. It still blows my mind.

The other thing that I feel I should say, and I hope people will realize that I say it with no arrogance or conceit, is that really all the fun I’m having now did not come free. I don’t believe in a “God-bless-me!” kind of faith. However, I do believe in a God who rewards faithfulness. So in my early years as a Christian I made some investments that I think are paying off now – investments in obedience, faith, seeking after God with fierce intensity, holding onto God when the circumstances that were pounding me shouted that I should let go.

I like to think of it all in terms of gambling. Very early o’clock I decided that with God it was either going to be all or nothing. I put all my chips on God, and even when things around me were failing, I kept putting my chips on God. I had read the Word, about the incredible lives of incredible men and women like David and Abraham and Ruth. They gambled everything, and in the end they gained everything. So really I think all that has happened over the past year is God letting me reap what I have sown, cashing in on my investments so to speak.

So as I take stock of all that has transpired I’m very grateful to God for making all of this happen. There is no God like Him!

Thanks a lot to those of you who give me feedback from time to time. It’s nice to know that people enjoy the journals!

Cheers to an incredible year in the Land of the Morning Calm, and great expectations for the next upcoming period of time!

An yeung!

Nneka

Korean Chronicle: Fasion Show Fiasco




Fashion Show Fiasco

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Glad it’s over, but too bad it’s over. That pretty much sums up the Hanbok-Kimono Fashion Show held in February. I participated as a foreign volunteer model, along with fellow-scholarship-recipients from the National Institute for International Education Development (NIIED). Looking back now, I can chuckle heartily. What a sweet ordeal that was!

The cultural officer for the NIIED, Mr. Kim, called the organisers of the show, and managed to get us included in the program. The purpose of the event was to wish good luck to World Cup 2002. The volunteers were from Bulgaria, Canada (yours truly), Chile, China, Indonesia, Kyrgyzstan, Morocco, Mongolia, Nepal, Romania, Russia and Turkey.

Weeks of anticipation finally came to an end – the 8th of February 2002 arrived. In the wee hours of the morning, we got our sleepy selves out of bed in order to make it to the Sejong Cultural Centre for 7:00 a.m. (mind you, the show was scheduled to start at 5:00 p.m.). Lo and behold when we arrived, we were greeted with locked doors, while the organisers were nowhere to be found. After some time, the guards let us in and after a bit of meandering and a few detours, we stumbled into our make-up room where cosmetic specialists and hairstylists were waiting. By this time it was about 9:00 a.m.

To our delight, we were told that it was time to make all those cosmetics do their magic. We all started to get our hair and faces done. Being of African descent with a very short haircut, all that I required was a face-over. Brown and white foundation were creamed together to try to match my complexion. Eyeliner and mascara were deftly applied. A few brushes of green eyeshadow, a sweep of blush, and a touch of glossy lip colour and voila! I had been transformed. I peered into the mirror and squealed! I looked like something dragged up from the grave. “Oh my gosh! I look like a ghost!!” I moaned. Was this a Chinese opera or a fashion show? Get, my friend and fellow-model from Thailand came over, took a look and gave her approval. Only then was I able to brave the mirror once more and agree that I didn’t look half bad after all.

Finally everyone’s hair and make-up were done, and we all sat around waiting for the next thing to happen … but it didn’t. We sat and sat, waited and waited. Mr. Kim kept trying to call his contact person – no answer. He was visibly disappointed and upset, but we managed to stay in good cheer. Finally two very well-dressed elderly women entered the room and began chatting with Mr. Kim. Apparently, they were not happy to see a bunch of beautiful young ladies and some fine gentlemen staring at them. “No! they’re too good-looking! We wanted young children and ugly, old people to go along with something special in the program. If we can’t find any, we’ll do it ourselves!” We sat for a while, taken aback by the inside-out compliment, questioning if they would ditch us from the program, wondering if the many friends that we had invited would not be treated to us gliding down the runway after all! In the end, they allowed us to stay in. Big relief!

Finally, one or two hours later, we were called to our first ever rehearsal. That’s when “Mr. Bally” showed up, which is what we dubbed the little Korean man who coordinated the models. With languid hand motions and peevish temper, this gentleman gave us a hasty explanation of what we were supposed to do. On our first attempt, he stopped us – “Ani, ani! Bali! Bali!” (“No, no! Fast! Fast!”). He wanted us to just zip on and off the stage. A tug-of-war quickly ensued. Mr. Kim and Mr. Bally gave us alternate and conflicting instructions – fast, no slow, fast I said, go slow! We seemed on the brink of World War III. A little more and our little man might have been rolling around on the floor in vexation. When neither party was looking we agreed to go as slowly as possible. We didn’t wake up at 5:00 in the morning to spend five seconds on the stage.

With practice over and nothing to do, we went into the audience section of the three-tiered theatre hall to take in the dress rehearsals. What a beautiful show had been planned with seductively alluring kimonos and elegantly modest Hanboks. From the smooth flow of the models across the stage, it all became crystal – rehearsals had been going on before the day without us knowing it, and we were just an after-thought. No wonder we were just going to be tacked onto the end of the program!

It was getting closer to show time. Finally they called us backstage to put on our Hanboks. A rack of clothes was pushed in front of us – “Just take anything and put it on quick!” Confusion, dismay. I was stunned into immobility as hands began grabbing up garments. Not having the dimensions of a typical Korean woman (far less a typical Korean model), “anything” would definitely not fit me. A Korean lady passed by, saw my dazed look, and stuffed a Hanbok of a sickly green colour into my hands. That’s when I came to my senses. I thought, “Well maybe I’m going to look like a fool in a Hanbok that’s too small for me, but by God I am going to look like a fool in the right colour!” Some very kind assistants helped me squeeze into a lovely Hanbok of Royal Blue. Many fingers were bloodied with pins as we tugged and pulled to get it on.

We amused ourselves backstage, going to the sides to peep ever so often. Then to our shock, our turn came! They plopped us right in the middle of the program after all. Pangs of nervousness prickled my stomach as we lined up behind the backdrop and took our positions. The first two models marched out to the soulful strains of traditional Korean music. Then Mr. Rush-deed himself started sputtering again, “Bal-bal-bal-bal!!!” Down the aisle me and my partner from Indonesia went. All I could see was a misty haze of blinking camera flashes as I heard the announcers calling out our nationalities, and expressing bewilderment about why we were going so quickly. We all lined up at the top of the stage, did our synchronised bow, made another circuit of the stage and got off, exhilarated. Hours of torturous waiting melted away in a mere five minutes of glory.

After our final appearance at the end of the show, I went outside to find my friends and the first people I saw as I emerged from backstage were Mrs. Lee and her daughter, Da-Een, from my homestay family. They greeted me with a lovely bouquet of yellow flowers and told me that I looked beautiful. It was so touching that they had actually come to the show. All my friends told me that I looked great, and that they enjoyed the show.

Excitement, frustration, and comedy all wrapped into one memorable bundle. If I had the chance to do it all over again, I don’t think that I would, but … I’m glad that I did!
Photos by Korean photographer