Friendship

Friendship

Friendship is like rainbow sprinkles brightening a sweet-life Sundae. Friends care and share; share kindness, laughter, tears, special moments, and warm advice as they walk with us through the changing seasons of life.

Friendship means opening up; opening up the windows of our heart to let sunbeams warm our soul. It means trusting someone to treat us kindly. It means throwing open the doors of our life to joyful discoveries, to learning, growing, and becoming a new me … and doing the same for someone else.

Friendship has been with man since the beginning. Adam spent many rich moments in the Garden of Eden, enjoying God’s wonderful companionship as they chatted about all kinds of interesting and engaging things. Then God brought him a new friend in the form of Eve. So there was man-with-God friendship and human-with-human friendship, for God has designed us to connect on both vertical and horizontal planes of reality.

I did not always have many friends, but I made God my very best one, trusting Him to add others to my life in the beauty of time; and He has certainly done that. Indeed, God gave me a very special pal even before I came to really know Him, and she was the one who showed me that walking with God was always meant to be as natural as breathing.

I remember my best high school friend and I having many rich conversations as we strolled around our school grounds on afternoons after class was out. We seemed to never run out of things to talk about. She knew God very well, and one day as we sat under the trees at school she asked me, “Would you like to know God as a friend?” I thought it sounded very inviting … and that’s where my journey of friendship with God began.

Though we were only teenagers at the time, I could not have asked for a more loyal friend. Wendy-Kaye (that was her name) always encouraged me in my walk with God, always prayed for me, always had a sparkle in her eyes and a chuckle on her lips, and always shared well-seasoned advice, interesting life stories and lots of silly jokes. Spiritually speaking, she was ahead of our time and mature beyond her years.

In the Proverbs 27:9 it says: Ointment and perfume delight the heart / And the sweetness of a man’s friend / gives delight by hearty counsel. My high school friendship was a doorway into friendship with God. When I opened my window to God, I saw sunshine, and I saw rainbows; and when there was drizzle or rain, He was always faithful to pour sunbeam encouragement into my heart, either through the immediate grace of His direct speaking, or through the divinely-inspired input of other people.

Over the years, God has added many friends to my life. Some of them know God personally and some of them do not. Some of us are always perfect chums and for others, we may sometimes have our moments. Still, no matter the ins-and-outs of how we relate, I value my friendships highly and especially treasure life-long ones.

Each of my pals is a bright sprinkle of colour on my sweet-life Sundae. They give me joy, they lend me strength, they put a dance in my steps, a smile on my lips, and fill my memory-lane strolls with heart-warming reminiscing. Each is a lovely ribbon of colour in God’s rainbow-Promise to do me only good all the days of my life. Friendship is a gift from God.

Knowing God is a Gift

Being friends with God is both sweet simplicity and grand complexity. Simply put, it means spending time with Him, and walking with Him throughout life and into eternity. On a more complex level, it means diving into the vast diversity of who He is, and allowing Him to pattern us with the patterns of His heart. Friendship with our Creator is what we were designed for. Many find this an unusual concept, yet in God’s mind, it is quite odd and alien when it’s the other way around.

Being friends with God means taking the time and care to really get to know Him; know Him beyond the superficial knowledge created by pre-conceptions, which are often misconceptions. It means spending time digging into His Word for nuggets of His personality and life philosophies. It means talking to Him and allowing Him access to every nook and cranny of our heart – our thoughts, motives, dreams, fears, concerns, desires, questions. It means starting to think like God Himself. After all, friends rub off on each other, and there’s nothing sweeter than His divine glow sparkling our very being.

Friendship with God means reflexively talking to God often; out loud or in our heads, lying in bed or while at work, working out in the gym or while looking at TV, in the midst of sorrow and in joyful celebrations. God always has His doors thrown wide open to us, waiting for us to just ‘make His day,’ and there’s nothing that quite does that like us sharing our lives with Him – everything from the fine details to the big issues of earthly existence.

When I talk to God, I keep things simple. I don’t talk in a ‘holy’ tone of voice or set out to pray long, ‘impressive’ prayers. I simply let the transparency of my thoughts and the sincerity of my heart be the highest eloquence I can offer Him. For God reads the language of our heart before He reads the language of our lips. God values innocence and honesty. He values our trust in Him. These are things which He will never violate or disappoint. Indeed He carries us like a shepherd carries His lambs – kindly, gently and faithfully. Even when life gets tough, we can rest in the fact that everything which God allows in our lives is motivated by his perfect wisdom and loving-kindness.

Friendship with God means hearing His voice and responding to His speaking. He breathes His counsel, encouragement, direction and adjustments in so many different ways. The more time one spends with Him, the more one gets to know His voice. It is like a leaf floating unto a pond, creating rings of ripples, yet knowing exactly what those ripples are saying. It’s like hearing wind chimes making music inspired by the thoughts of God, and instantly capturing in the nuances of every note, every subtle divine meaning.

God speaks in ways which cannot be numbered – through images lightly imprinted on the heart, through other people (even if they may not realize it), through music, through divinely-inspired insight into His Word, through audible communication, through the very design of Nature, through an endless assortment of interactions. God is always speaking, but the best way to capture His voice is by keeping our hearts pure, because the slightest neglect of our personal purity can muffle His voice. We can always determine if it is God or not by using what is written in the Word as a fool-proof litmus guide.

Friendship with God is special. God is a gift to be unwrapped, with every layer of discovery opening up whole new dimensions of his endless goodness. As we remove each new sheet of beautifully-patterned tissue, He begins to gift-wrap us in all the diverse beauty of His character. He makes of us a gift which can bless and enrich the lives of others, wooing them to the Lord Himself.

Bridge Poem

Bridge Poem

Why be afraid of

what I do not know?
I want to know

why the wind blows;
And where it flies,

I want to go.
Why be afraid

of what I do not know?
I want to sail,

I want to grow;
I want to touch

another soul.

©NnekaEdwards2006

Cocoa and Pie

Cocoa and Pie

Colonial criss-cross woodwork
Painted rose-white
Wood panels with bright coats
sunshine yellow, happy mauve, lime green

A good friend of mine
Comes knocking every day
Come rain or shine
If the pie’s divine
Or if the crust is fine
He’ll be here

If the cocoa spills
If sweet is nil
In a flood of bills
He’ll be here

He’ll sit and chat with me
Come to see
If I need cheering
Caring, friendly steering
Or firm advice

His company
Makes my Home
Warm and bright

©NnekaEdwards2006

The Friend

The Friend

Like an old, favourite coat
So warm and familiar
A true friendship
To last a lifetime

©NnekaEdwards2002

Photo of Hisako - my Japanese chum

Friend

Friend

by zhōu huá jiàn

(a beautiful Chinese pop song)

These few years, one man here
Wind blew strong, rain passed by
I cried tears, there were wrongs
Still I remember what goes on

You will know if you’ve loved
All alone, you’ll look back
In the end there’ll be dreams
And you’ll flow in my heart streams

Friends walk together throughout life
Those days will not come another time
Just one word; a generation
Love through life; a glass of wine

Friends have never felt alone
Just say “friend” and you’ll follow
There’re still hurts, there’s still sorrow
We still must walk, there’s still me tomorrow

(translated by yours truly)

The Bridge

The Bridge

There is a bridge called Friendship -
A walkway o’er a stream.
It is beautiful and knowing -
A place for joy to meet.
Yea, there is a bridge called Friendship
Which strings my heart to yours;
Oft threaded with kind lilies
Lining its lovely frame;
Yet it still can be tossed and broken,
Shattered by our cares.
If this path is wrecked by heartache
Or by some bitter memory,
Arise and hasten hither;
Hasten your steps to me.
The stream below is empty
Unless we build this bridge again,
And meet along her pathway
And over the waters peer;
And see therein reflected
Forgiveness and her End,
And the beauty of a friend.

©NnekaEdwards2007


Be gentle and ready to forgive;
never hold grudges.
Remember, the Lord forgave you,
so you must forgive others
Col 3:12-13 - TLB

Kabuki Chronicle: O Curry!

30 June 2007

Lovely cotton hangings with elephants embroidered in black, red, and brown. Simple cloth lanterns with tie-dyed patterns offering a soft glow; tables covered with beautiful Asian prints; an assortment of exotic decorations; a friendly clutter of Indian culture makes this beautiful restaurant very homey. Welcome to Sayapatri!

Sumptuous dining lines the menu. Dip your doughy garlic naan in a sweet-spicy prawn curry that is creamy as it is spicy; or try the red-curry mutton that just melts with each mouthful; the rich seasonings linger delectably and all you can do is kiss your fingertips with a flourish; this Indian shrine tucked away in a quaint side-street of Urawa is my culinary Mecca. I go on pilgrimage every week.

It is not just the fine dining which draws me again and again. There’s also the flat screen entertainment - music videos from India’s popular movies. The swirling saris and intricate choreography are absolutely captivating. Refreshing shades of rosy pink, tangerine orange, sunny yellow, and sky blue spin and move across the screen in classical elegance, as exotic rhythms fill every sense which may have missed the delightful invitations of the delectable dishes. When the music and dance carry you to India, the main course suddenly becomes a mere side savoury.

Last night, celebrating Chiara’s birthday was a great excuse to make that sacred trip once again. You might remember Chiara from the New Year’s journal about the three guests who spent the evening at my apartment. Well, we enjoyed many moments of mirth and humour as we took in the music videos. I also enjoyed chatting with the owner with whom I have fast become friends over the past year. Thanks to my Trini heritage, my Nepalese friend (whose husband is from India) and I have found that Indian culture has formed a bridge of friendship between us. I’m ashamed to admit that I don’t know her name, but I’m pleased to say that we share a very warm sense of friendship.

I had bought two slices of ‘birthday cake’ at a bakery before heading for Sayapatri. I invited my Nepalese friend to share in our dessert. She was quite taken by surprise but clearly very pleased. She suddenly disappeared into the kitchen and then, to our delight, suddenly re-emerged with Indian mango yogurt topped with mango sauce and peaches … on the house. The flavour was quite unusual since it was liberally flavoured with distinctly Indian spices, but we ate it all up. Chiara loved it; I will acquire the taste gradually.

Memorable moments …

While viewing a muscular Indian dancer energetically shifting his shoulders and doing some fancy footwork, Chiara was quick to exclaim, “Hammer time!”

I told my Nepalese friend that one day I would go to India. To Chiara’s amusement, she misunderstood, shocked that I would go to India for only one day.

Chiara was not too impressed that I offered to share her slice of birthday cake with my Nepalese friend – whose cake you talkin’ about? Yours, right? …’Cause it couldn’t be mine! It was pretty tickling.

Finally, my Nepalese friend introduced me to her baby son, Vijay – a real cutey-pie; all during the evening we chatted and laughed, and she pointed out different Indian stars to us, telling us who works with the mafia, and who was this and who was that.

It was a special evening in that dimly-lit restaurant. It was practically empty, us being the only customers, but it was filled with the warmth of hearty laughter, cultural curiosity, and genuine friendship – beautiful moments woven into a beautiful evening.

Friendship Means ...

Friendship Means …

Sweet Companionship
Stealing away from the staffroom and enjoying a cup of tea with my good Japanese friend, Yumi, in her little upstairs room.

Hospitality
My Canadian and Russian friends, Jeff and Julia, opening up their teeny apartment for a great Christmas slumber party (including a fun gift exchange)

Sharing Funny Moments (and Forgiving)
Odette, my South African friend, standing next to me and doing nothing but laughing when a Korean hat-seller just grabbed me and shook the living daylights out of me for no good reason. “You should have seen the look on your face!” she said unrepentingly.

Communicating
My Jamaican friend, Wendy-Kaye, and I, exchanging tons of letters after she moved back home with her family; correspondence filled with the stuff that true friendship is made of!

Bantering
Exchanging quips with my Canadian friend and buddy, Leigh, about every conceivable foolishness. We poked a lot of fun at each other, but had some good, meaningful conversation as well.

Disagreeing Sometimes
Not always agreeing with Nalini, my Indian friend, about God and religion, but finding a fast friend and a great and noble sparring partner.

A Great Package Deal
Finding friend, mother, sister and confidante in my Korean homestay ‘mom,’ Nora. We had a lot of great conversations!

Warmth
My homestay halmoni (“granny" in Korean) and her big, bright smile every time she saw me. She couldn’t speak English and I could barely say anything worth saying in Korean, but we understood each other perfectly!

Acceptance
Tall, German, blond-haired, grey-eyed Michael jumping up and down on his bed in joyous abandon to “The Congo Man” – a risqué calypso from Trinidad

Sharing
Yapping with my Chinese-Trini friend, Nicole, on the phone about this, that, and everything, and always trying to get her to come over to my home to read my poems!

Understanding
Hisako, my Japanese friend, being able to read so many of my thoughts with a kindness and courtesy that never made me feel like my privacy was being invaded

Caring and Kindness
My Chinese-Canadian friend, Shuky, bringing a tub of my favourite flavour of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream for me on my birthday during a grey season of life

Safety
Sitting right between my Japanese colleagues and friends, Hisako and Yamamura Sensei, in the staffroom and resting in the fact that they were always looking out for me in every way.

Sacrifice
Billy, my Chinese-Canadian friend, gladly picking me up at some ungodly hour of the morning to take me to the airport so I could catch a flight home to Trinidad

Giving
Nalini, my Indian friend, opening up her beautiful home to so many of her classmates and cooking up a fine curry feast for us with joyful energy

Selflessness
My Trini friends (too many to name) going all out to help me with a personal project that would have meant giving away their time in the midst of great busyness all in a spirit of cheerful voluntarism.

And the list could go on and on … sincerity, trusting, loyalty, reciprocating!